Been like freaking more than 2 months since I updated or even entered this website. HAHAH.
Was reading all the past post. I realised life's really much better now that O's are over and I dont have to meet certain people every weekday. LOL. No longer another emo post now. HAHAH. Really!
Been working for like around 2 weeks now? Job's like super fun, super rewarding, rather simple, sometimes boring yet tiring. LOL. Met many awesome people there, made many friends. Hahah. And I like what I'm doing now!~ Look at the photos on FB and you'll know :D LOLOL. One of the many things good about this job is that all the cable car crew recogniszes me and I can get on anytime I want even without wearing the CANON shirt. HAHHAH. Andand, I get staff price working at sentosa like at uhhh... coffee bean and the sovenior store and food stall? And staff discount at the jewel shop at mount faber!~~~ YAY~ K my point is... I like working (: OHHH YEAH!!!! Come to mount faber any night at like 8,9, or 10 pm coz there's like artificial snow and its fun!~ But I wont be working there for night shift everyday laaa. So late........................ Anw. What snacks shld I bring on monday to eat while working? :x Things at Vivo and habourfront are more expen$ive lehh )):
K other than job...another happy thing is that I just packed my bag for Shanghai and korea trip! Must pack early coz I confirm take in take out and cannot decide what to wear. LOL. I got the biggest luggage out of all my 2 other sis but mines alr full......................... cant really blame me either coz all the clothes are so thick? LOL.
Okay. My mei just came in and said " Jie you want sandwich? " and I'm like "no?" and she went "It's nice!! I making peanut butter and jelly mix" and I'm like "eww no thanks" ... HAHAHAHAH.
LOL. I have a total of 13 mozzie bites on my leg now. Haven't included the 4 on my arms. LOL.
Anyway. It's the 4th of Dec now. Happy Brithday.
Really I feel like just killing myself right now -.- Who in the world fails even emaths so badly at prelims? dont even talk to me about amath. -.- FTS. Like really. I wanna give up so badly. But just now my mum came in and asked how was my studies coming along and I told her all my maths grades she was like " spend so much money on your tuition you still can fail"..."I'm so woried about you you know, at this rate I dont know what's gonna happen to you"... blahblah.. It's really annoying. Yet saddening. Coz her eyes were all teary and the guilt is killing me but I dont know what is left for me to do coz I just feel stupid. Really stupid. And I though I could make it. But I dont think I'm strong enough anymore to go thru the reamining 1 month. LESS than 1 month actually.
And today. I talked to yobo about something I didnt wanna talk about. Fathin baby too. And i told giam this once long agoooooo and everyone's like telling me to let go let go let go but know that I really cant. Find someone better? Hahah. rigghhhttttt. Tell me who then. Lol. They told me to talk to * but dude its not as simple as everyone thinks. But after today I found out something. I want to let go but I cant. Just like how I want to study but I cant. Just like how I want to kill myself but I cant. Lol.
Listening to 2 Ashley Parker Angel songs coz I just miss his songs. But then I realise both the songs just made me feel even more depressed. Apology and Let U Go. go yt it or smthg. Coz its really exactly how I feel right now.
One of the phrase from apology." I'm shattered and I'm broken beyond repair. Jaded so sick of being here. I've fucked up one too many times. And this time I fucked up my whl life."
I need God right now. But idk where is he. Maybe coz i cant be bothered giving myself excuses like I'm too tired..too busy... too stressed.... Like now. I was supposed to do math but just looking at math questions I feel like WTHSFFBDBSFJNUJD again and came to blog. I give up. I'm just. Gone. I miss my old self. I miss my old life. I miss my old friends. I miss my old faith. I miss the old times with *. I miss everything. and I dont wanna move on and face reality.
So tired these days. Cozza all the staying back in the library and stuff. Dam sad but that's the only way coz If I dont I'll just end up sleeping my afternoon away. :X HAHAH. ANYWAY.....
I know I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again!! KOREA ON THE 23rd DEC! Then SHANGHAI. HAHAH. FREAKING 0 DEGREES and -6 DEGREES AT NIGHT.
Okay. I'm tired but I cant sleep coz I just ate dinner and I dont wanna get even more fat than how I already am right now.
I realize There's like 8 pples birthday falling in september. OHEMGEE. $$$$$$$ )): dam sad. And I'm saving for 23rd oct ! for what? DONT TELL YOU :D HAH. And I need to go shopping. Like real badly. Even though I just went and bought loads of stuff. Shit see this is why have no money now and my mums kinda pissed at my spending that she srzly contemplate giving me more each time and dude not like I dont feel guilty opening up my hands and asking for cash from her. :x Ahh... Really. STOP IT. Holidays still need $ to spend leh ):
Just now at LJS. Drew, Yobo and I were talking bout birthday presents. And Yobo and I have officailly set aside a date for our yobos day out to celebrate each others birthday since most or you most prolly wont be free on mine this year ): Shucks. . .K great. Yobo's gonna buy me happy meal on her birthday :X HAHA. JK.
On a side note. HAPPY ZHAO QI DAY. :D
Oh shit. Mrs te wont be around in school tmr to see our awesome class video. Nao I'm dam sad. But its okay coz I think she'll get embarassed at the picture we used for her anyway :X
As Nigahiga would say... " TEEHEE! "
KBai.
Were those days. Where we though everything about our lives was so unperfect just to wake up and face the reality that our lives now are more full of crap and shit than ever before. Well maybe not for some of you who seemed to have moved on so well without me. Ahh. . . this is it.
Have I reached my breaking point? Maybe.
